Eating Bareback

The last thing I intend to do on this blog is to hand out dietary advice, and by that same token, I don't wish to have any given to me unsolicited. I don't think we should waste food, and I beleive we have to consume food that contains enough nutrition to keep us relatively healthy and functioning. Man cannot live on Cool Ranch Doritos alone.

That being said, I now say to the Food Nazis out there: Shut up and leave us alone!

There doesn't seem to be a thing we do as human beings, with the possible exception of breathing, that some "expert" or "guru" or just plain worry wart wags a finger at us and warns against doing or advises us on the correct way of doing it. Our lists of indulgences dwindle with each passing day it seems. Our pleasures turned into mortal sins.

With tongue in cheek and a mouthful of crispy bacon, I cry out: ENOUGH!

Killjoys of the world, hear me! If I want to have a fried mozzarella stick grilled cheese sandwich at Denny's, I will do so! The same for a bacon cheese burger in a Krispy Kreme donut! A bacon cheese burger served between two grilled cheese sandwiches! If I want a double order of the KFC Double Down sandwich (bacon and cheese between two boneless fried chicken breasts), I advise you to stay out of my way!

Look, I'm not in favor of unbridled, continuous gluttony. As much as I enjoy eating, I wouldn't want Adam Richman's job on "Man v. Food"! Sure, I'd like to eat as much as I want of what I want, but not as much as I can of whatever is set before me, and possibly beyond. Eating to the point of misery is utter stupidity. A free T-shirt and a picture on the "wall of fame" ain't worth it!

I'm just saying, if I eat all my salad, finish my peas and broccoli like a good boy, I am going to have a Carl's Jr. Six Dollar Philly Cheesesteak Burger once in a while, damn it!